Who are you drinking from?

The drinking I'm talking about is not in the literal sense, but in the spiritual sense. You drink from the people around you. You can drink life, love, happiness, joy and all the wonderful things that help grow and nourish your spirit. However, you could also drink whatever poison it is that they may be giving you. By drinking I mean what value, be it spiritually, emotionally or physically do the people around you add into your life? Mainly focusing on your spirit though because whatever happens in the spiritual manifests into the natural, so when your spirit is good everything else will also be good. When we talk about the people around you it's referring to your family and those you call your friends. Those are usually the most influential people in your life, and you drink from them because they are the ones that you spend the most time around. You pick a lot of things from them. I feel that friends can actually be more influential than your own family most of the time. Which is why it is very important to surround yourself with those that add incredible value into your life effortlessly. Friendship that is meant to be won't feel like it is a burden or like it is one sided.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 speaks of how 2 is better than one because they can help each other succeed....
The only evidence you need  when it comes to determining whether or not a relationship is right for you is if it helps you.

So in this blog post I want to share a few points on the types of friends that I feel would be great to have around you and those that you may want to take a chill pill on. So let's get to it💫

The friends you should watch out for ✋🏾🤨:

1. The honest but not transparent friends -
I was having a conversation with my sister Ano-Joy (make sure to check her out on the gram @anojoy_ 😊❤) and she was saying that there is a difference between being honest and being transparent. I think she had watched a teaching by Pastor Mike Todd. Anything that you have to find out about will already appear to be shady no matter how innocent a person may argue it to be. If it was really innocent they would have come forward about it on their own without you having to find out about it. A true friend, correction, a friend who pays attention would know the things that you would be okay with and the things that you would not be okay with. So immediately after doing something that they know would upset you if you were to find out about it later because we all make mistakes, they would come tell you instead of waiting for you to find out. If I approach you and ask "is it true that you said this about me?", and you confess and apologise, it is good that you have been honest with me. However, it would've been better if you came to me and said "Vicky, the other day I was really upset with you and I ended up saying some things that I shouldn't have, I'm really sorry please forgive me". This is an example of being TRANSPARENT. Honesty is revealing the truth that you feel needs to be known usually only when you have been asked about something, it is possible to leave out some important information also. Transparency is the free will to come forth on your own and when those around you can see the truth in you. Nobody is confused about what you're truly about when you are transparent🤷🏾‍♀️ because you have made yourself clear to everyone around you. Some may argue that honesty is better than transparency but I personally feel that transparency avoids a lot of questioning because those around you are on clear grounds with you but honesty only comes after questioning most of the time. Situations where someone tells you what they did as compared to situations where you have to find out about something that they did are easier to grow and move on from. 

Ephesians 4:25
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

2. The friends you aren't strong enough to help💔😔-
We all face challenges in life. Sometimes when someone who is close to us is facing a challenge we tend to make it our personal duty to help them get through it because we care for them. Also because we feel that we would be of great help. However, we aren't always the rightful person that that individual needs to help them get through their challenge. That is why we find ourselves putting so much effort into a person to try help turn their situation around and it feels like you aren't getting anywhere. This is because you aren't meant to be the one to help, you may end up doing more damage than actually helping.
On this point though I mainly wanted to focus on bad habits. We all have atleast 1 friend who does things that we don't necessarily agree with, eg. A bad habit (any that you may think of) and we hide behind the excuse of "trying to help" them because we are scared of losing them, but it seems like they end up rubbing off more onto you than you onto them. Simply because you aren't strong enough for that particular situation but we keep forcing ourselves to be in it. It's you trying to do something that God didn't tell you to do, something that He didn't grace you for. Only intervene when you are positive that you will be able to bring some kind of positive change because two blind souls will only lead each other astray.

1 Corinthians 15:33-34
 Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” ³⁴ Think carefully about what is right, and stop sinning. For to your shame I say that some of you don’t know God at all.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you stop being friends with these people. It doesn't mean that you are some perfect person who doesn't go through their own challenges or that you don't have any of your own bad habits. What I'm saying is be sure that you are strong enough for that person's situation. Otherwise you may end up damaging them even more or even damaging yourself. The best acts of love are those done when the person is not there. Pray for them 

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

3. The ones that put you in compromising situations-
When you're friends with someone it doesn't always mean that you will agree in terms of the way you guys go about your lives, but there should be that mutual respect where you understand that there are certain situations that you shouldn't put your friends in. Situations that would make them uncomfortable or lead to them doing something that they never wanted to do in the first place. You know how people always say that in a bestfriend combo there is always that wild friend and the more chilled friend. Yeah don't push your friend to do things that they don't want to do. Don't bring your struggle upon your friend by making them do something they don't want to do. Respect them enough to not put them in situations where they feel like they have to and also try not to do it around them. Though you may disagree on a particular lifestyle you may still really care for each other and get along in other areas. So respect each other enough to not force each other to change things about yourselves that the other person is not willing to change. Especially if the things that they are not willing to change are good for them. It's different from giving advice, you can suggest something but remember that at the end of the day it's not your decision to make because it is not your life. If they want to listen to you they will, if not leave them to do their own thing.

This one is just for bants but😂.....
4.The ones who only posts bad pictures of you-
this is a CLEAR 😂 indication that these people only want the world to know the bad side of you. True friends would post the bad, progression and glow up pictures✊🏽. This shows that they are proud of the growth you have attained and they want to show it off to the rest of the world. Also when they post a picture/pictures where you guys are together. A true friend would post a picture where you both look good, because your image is their image too. No one is trying to outshine the other but instead you guys shine together giving off an incredible light💫The ones who only want to show your bad side clearly have a hidden agenda against you😂 please, let's be kind to our friends.

Another one which is just for fun😂....
5. The ones who constantly update you on your ex/exes🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️ -

When it comes to these types of friends please help me understand, is it that you don't understand or you refuse to understand what an ex is? An "Ex" can either be a former friend or partner. Let me break it down😂 it means NO LONGER IN ONE'S LIFE, THEIR BUSINESS IS NOT MY BUSINESS AND VICE VERSA, NO LONGER ASSOCIATED WITH (in most cases). Now do you understand😂. I don't know guys correct me if I'm wrong but I don't see why someone should be constantly updating you like "did you see his/her new person?" Or "did you know he/she got a new car?"... ah ah what does that information have to do with me. What value have you added into my life😂👐🏽 I'm just trying to understand guys. If you are my friend, my ex is your ex. Straight up. They are only brought up when I bring them up🤷🏾‍♀️ or if the information is actually of use to me somehow. Especially if you only know of their existence because of me ,because you guys technically would not have even been friends during that time. You're just cool in the sense that "oh that's my friends person" but if we are honestly speaking there is no real relationship between you guys. I think it's only appropriate to be associated with your friends ex if you were friends with that ex before their relationship because it would be unfair to put someone in a compromising situation where they have to choose sides or whatever. Other than that there's no excuse. How do you even know that they are up to all that stuff😂 why are you even still following or keeping yourself updated on someone who hurt your friends feelings (in the event that it ended badly). Actually made it a whole job for yourself to see what this person is up to.....tisk tisk😶
I've never been a "my exes are off limits" type of friend cause ah the exes don't exist anyways😂 I believe God is sovereign and the fact that it didn't work out with that person means that they weren't for you yeah? So if your friend happens to go in that area somehow it is very possible that you were just supposed to be the link to connect your friend and your ex but you ended up falling for your ex when you weren't supposed to🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't know. So if God's in it then do you guys but other than that please respect me 😂✋🏾
If you are this type of friend you are what we call and EP - enemy of progress. It doesn't make sense to me why someone would constantly want to update you on your past especially if it hurt you. I'm not saying forget your past because you know we live and learn and it's good to remember where God took you from. However, it's not done this way. Even if I have forgiven the person I may still be going through a recovery phase and you constantly updating me is personally not my cup of tea☕ so please repent.

The friends you should have 👫🏾👬🏾👭🏾:

1. The hype man-
These types of friends are the realest gees. They will support you through all the craziness.  However there is a certain level of hype which can also be dangerous. Sometimes your friends can hype you up even when they clearly know that what you are about to do could lead to you making one of the worst decisions of your life. They don't want to appear as if they don't support you or are jealous of you so they'd rather cheer you on to your doom😂 but I personally would prefer a friend who yes is my #1 fan when it comes to sensible things and when it comes to me wanting to do things that aren't sensible they pull me back and try to make me realise that what I'm about to do would not make sense. If their advice is coming from a good place you will be able to tell. Trust that you have chosen friends that have your best interests at heart and are not people who are out to get you alright✊🏽 I personally would not hype you over nonsense 😂✋🏾 be honest with each other and trust your friends advice.

2. The friends who understand personal space🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍-
As we grow up we go from hanging out in groups of 10 to having more intimate meet ups of 2 or 3. This is because as we get older our relationships with each of our friends become more personal and they are different as compared to the next. Sometimes it's not necessary to involve the whole squad in certain things and mature friends would get that. Yeah meeting up as the whole squad is important for the growth of the group but there should be an understanding that as we get older we also make new friends that may be outside of the squad. This does not mean that you are now ditching your squad. However it is important to prioritize who was in your life first. Basically I'm just saying we shouldn't hold our friends on a leash.

Another one which is just for bants😂....
3. Friends who share food with you🍓🥝🍔🍗🍞-
food is a social activity and conversation at the table is meant to be centered around the food being consumed. The things that characterize my high school experience are just that. I reached a point with one of my friends where her mum would pack lunch for her and also for me because she knew that Vicky and Tanya (@king_brie❤) bonded over food and it is literally the foundation of our friendship 😂❤. I consider food to be the glue of the friendships I have made the past four years, and I have a feeling many other seniors can say the same. Friendship is about sharing, sharing love, sharing experiences and sharing food is not an easy thing to share with. The few that do have shown you how precious you are to them.

4. The friends that aren't insecure when it comes to their friendship with you-
Insecure people make everything a competition. I don't know guys maybe it's just me but I love showing off my friends because I love them and I'm proud of their achievements, but there are just some friends that are always trying to guilt trip you for living your best life 😂✋🏾 nah fam. Don't fall for that nonsense please and don't dare feel bad. Yeah there are cases where someone is constantly boasting but when you are just innocently living your best life don't feel bad for anybody please😂✋🏾
I once had a friend who told me that she didn't like posting me on her social media because I would "steal her men"... ah ah ah😂. Need I say more about this😂👐🏽 I even wonder where that came from 'til today but anyways... moving on...

Friends are a very important part of all our lives and it is very important that we do our best to surround ourselves with the right ones.
Pastor Mike Todd said that we should understand that God wants us to have relationships. Especially friendships because when you are isolated that's when the devil comes in and tries to be your bestfriend, filling you up with lies.

Friends contribute to your spiritual, emotional and physical well being and growth.This post was also just to give you guys a bit of a laugh😊but do try keep some of these points in mind whenever you make the decision of befriending someone.
God bless and take care❤