Battling insecurities

Insecurity - uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

Hey guys😊❣I hope everybody is good and taking care. Today I wanted to talk about something that we all deal with at some point in our lives. Everything I talk about on my blog is always something that I've dealt with before, struggled with, maybe even still struggling with or have conquered.
Insecurity drills a hole into a person’s heart, minimizes their integrity, and accumulates as plaque build up, hindering any kind of future growth. An insecure person is a defeated person. Just as any human being’s growth is stifled by the insecurity within them. Everybody  has something that they haven't come to terms with about themselves. Some have and are working towards being a better version of themselves, but some still feel inadequate to the point where they have come to terms with things that aren't true.
 
The most 3 common causes of insecurity are:

Type 1: Insecurity Based on Recent Failure or Rejection.
Type 2: Lack of Confidence Because of Social Anxiety.
Type 3: Insecurity Driven by Perfectionism.

I was talking to my friend Talia (@ta.lily_)❤ and we were kind of just having a DMC (deep meaningful conversation) and somehow we got to the topic of insecurities. We tried to figure out the root cause behind being insecure and we came up with that the root cause of all insecurity is fear, and it's shaped by our past experiences. Feelings of worthlessness as a child usually carry over into adulthood, impacting our self-perception and how we interact with others. The social standards generally of this world have made people feel less than what they actually are. Abusive relationships have left people wounded emotionally, mentally and physically. Betrayal has created trust issues and the failure to accept each other as we are has left us feeling neglected and isolated.

However, I believe that the biggest enemy of progress when it comes to being content and satisfied with who we are and how God made us is COMPARISON. From a young age you could've been compared to the next sibling, cousin or friend. Be it by your parents or other external individuals. That has been carried over into our adult life to the point where we don't even do things because we want to anymore. We wait for peoples approval, acknowledgement and recognition. We don't do things because they make happy anymore.

I have always struggled with Type 3: Insecurity driven by Perfectionism. I am the most irritable person you'll ever meet guys😂 almost anything and everything drives me crazy. I've always been so goal-oriented and I like things done a certain type of way. When I don't reach those goals or I fail to do them a certain way at a particular standard that I have set for myself I then struggle with disappointment. When Vicky is mad nothing else matters. Peoples feelings don't matter, my spiritual life doesn't matter and I completely drift away from God. You know how people say that we always seek God when things aren't right in our lives and when things are popping we completely forget him. I do the opposite. When things are popping, God and I are also popping. When things aren't as great, I tend to blame him for everything. I won't read the word and I'll be consumed with so much anger and hurt. I've never created a space for myself where I allow myself to fail or to make mistakes. I always wanted to appear like I've got everything in order and I'm completely fine. But that has led to me always exploding in the most inappropriate circumstances, hurting peoples feelings and pushing people away. Picking myself up has always been something I struggled with because I didnt know how to deal with disappointment.

I used to think that if I attained perfection, I have attained purpose. However, being a perfectionist has only brought me sadness because I didn't know how to let things go or how to even forgive myself when I'd mess up. Most of my insecurities came from a place where I felt inadequate. There's not particular event in my life that I recall which could've made me feel this way but it's just always been there. Being that way then initiated physical insecurities because now I was also trying to attain perfection with how I looked. Emotional insecurities because I would feel as if I wasn't enough when I'd fail and because of that alot ot internal enemies came into my life.

About 3 weeks ago I learnt about " Dealing with internal enemies" at church. My pastor, Overseer Maxwell taught on this topic. He taught on 5 internal enemies:

1. Pride
2. Anger
3. A fixed idea on how God will do things
4. Relying on physical things
5. Special attention
 
When you're insecure these are the internal enemies which will come alive within you. Being a perfectionist ruined me because I tried to do everything with my might. By my power and not God's. I was living for myself and not God. Doing things for myself and not God. Relying on myself and not God. Which is why I never found myself being content or happy with myself, my achievements or the things around me. I never attained Joy. I didn't know who I was living for. I was living for people and their opinions. God didn't make us to be perfect. If we were there would be no need for a higher power. He wants us to need him and rely on him.

As human beings we will always experience these feelings but what's important is that we don't become a slave to them. By that I mean don't let them control your life to the point where you think about nothing else besides how much you want to look like her or look like him. Or how your life is not good like so and so's. Because when you put a lot of thought into something , you are practically worshiping it because you are prioritizing your feelings towards it. Which is basically idolizing. You know you could actually idolize insecurities because you are always thinking about them. When you are insecure you are often focusing on something that is lacking about you. You are giving whatever it is too much attention. That's actually a form of worshipping. Which we all know is not right in God's eyes. It's a sin. So yeah when you experience these feelings we should do our best to manage them and that's by hyping yourself up and reminding yourself who you are in Christ. As Christian's we don't operate on the same standard as the world because we are in it but not of it.
Insecurities are something that I still struggle with and I'm still learning to let go and let God. So I just wanted to encourage all of us to let go and let God. Because we all have voids that we are trying to fill with material things, relationships etc. But only God can fill those voids. If you place your insecurities in peoples hands and expect them to change you for the better, people who are also insecure themselves. You will be disappointed. So let go and let God. This is something I'm still learning to do.

The Road to Dealing with Insecurity:

1. Forgive the past. If your insecurities have been shaped by a relative or authority figure criticizing you, recognize this. ...
2. Accept all of yourself. Pause and take a self-assessment. ...
3.Practice self-approval. ...
4.Embrace non-comparison. ...
5.Develop trust in the moment.

I want to leave you guys with a couple of verses that will help lift your spirit❤💫and make you realise that you are Royalty👑 and you've got an inheritance to Joy, Love, peace, gentleness, kindness, patience, faithfulness, self-control, goodness, charity and modesty.

Verses that will help you when you are feeling inadequate:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But his answer was “My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me. I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Isaiah 40:30-31
Even those who are young grow weak
young people can fall exhausted.
But those who trust in the Lord for help
will find their strength renewed.
They will rise on wings like eagles
they will run and not get weary
they will walk and not grow weak.

Philippians 4:13
I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me.

Psalms 139:14
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it.

Yoh guys God loves us. If you didn't know I'm telling you now that God loves you and that's all you need. Get to know him more by reading his word and spend a lot time talking to him. He is literally waiting for you to slide into his dms 😂❤ because he just wants a relationship with you. So hit him up and start opening up. Let's continue to love and take care of each other.
Thank you for taking the time to read this😊❤❤❤ thank you to all the amazing young people in my life that have always picked me up at my lowest of lows. Shout out to Addy❣ (@addytee1), Prudence❣ (@1_armour_1), Kuda❣ (@Kudamaxell), Talia❣, Mati❣, Tanya❣ (@king_brie), Angel❣(@angel.nakai), Vimbai❣ (@_eliate_), Jok❣( yj.afriqe), Lovie❣ (@_adaora._), Tino (@tinotenda_nyemba) and the many others which I can't all mention😂 but appreciate a lot❤
God bless 'til next time💫