G•O•D•F•I•D•E•N•C•E

Godfidence

Hey guys❤
So Recently my older sister Sharon (@sharonmanyika) got me this pink sweater that had the word "GODFIDENCE" in big bold black letters printed on it. If you check out my instagram page (@miss_toryyy) you'll actually see it on my feed. It made me realise something but we'll get to that later on in the post. Every time I put it on I just feel different. I assume that the word "Godfidence" is a mash up of the words "Godly" and "Confidence". A part of me never actually acknowledged the fact that at some point this girl wasn't okay, but she is now and that's all that matters. She's come a very long way but she doesn't always give herself credit for it because she's so focused on where she wants to be. Which isn't a bad thing but it's important not to forget where God took you from.

Ever felt replaceable? Maybe because someone made you feel that way, maybe a particular situation made you feel that way or simply because of your own feelings of inadequacy? Yeah. Don't let life make you feel like you are that person that everyone and everything replaces after a while. Be around the right people and be in the right situations because when you do that you become irreplaceable.

"The wrong love makes you wonder where God is. The right love makes you feel Him everywhere".

So I recently attended a VWOW (Virtuous Women of the Word) word fest and yeah it was amazing💖💜. But it also reminded me of some things which had been happening this past year that really stripped away my confidence. I'd say that this past year of my life has been one of those years where I felt the least about myself. Mainly because of things that had been happening to me and to those around me.

Being done with highschool has made me realise that I never used to pay attention. To myself and to the people I loved. I used to shut out a lot of feelings and I was so naive to the fact that those closest to me were facing some really heartbreaking situations. But no matter how much you don't pay attention or how hard you try to ignore these things, they demand to be felt. A good friend of mine, Hanna, always used to tell me that. She always says "pain demands to be felt", it's unfortunately very true. I've had way too many "What is life😟" moments this year😂. All those feelings I shut out and chose to ignore came back to hit me so hard. Always at the wrong time. All those things that I wasn't paying attention to came back to have a parade in my presence. Allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt at the time that it needs to be felt because you need to get it out of your system. Not doing that just keeps you in a cycle of not being able to move on from what happened because those feelings will always catch up to you later. When that happens you won't be able to become better for yourself or for those around you that need you. You don't always have to be "strong" for nothing because when it is actually necessary for you to be strong you won't be able to.

Confidence - a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

Godfidence - a feeling or consciousness of Gods powers or of reliance on God's promises. Confidence inspired by God and his word.

You know when you have Confidence but not Godfidence you lie to yourself a lot. The problem with thinking that you are so great is that you never try to make yourself better.

"There is a problem when you see someone who hasn't arrived acting as if they have arrived"
                   -Pastor Maureen Manyika

Thinking you're the baddest in the streets until life does what it does best. It humbles you. The way I see it, confidence is temporary. It's an appreciation of your OWN abilities and the thing is on your own you can only go so far. But when your confidence lies in God, you achieve Godfidence and with Him you become limitless. He will make you far better than you could've ever imagined.

It's so easy to become disappointed because we don't see life going the way we want it to and we do not see the bigger picture that God is working through everything to produce in us a character like Jesus Christ. We lose confidence in trusting God and begin to trust in ourselves and what we can accomplish. Pride and arrogance takes over quick and we find ourselves forgetting the goodness and grace of God. Then before we know it, something happens or goes wrong that we cannot control and we blame God. But the truth is that God cannot reside where He is not wanted/needed.

The truth is that nothing apart from God can save us or make us whole. Jesus is the answer and without Him at the center of our lives, we will continue to struggle with having confidence. God's Word is filled with promises of strength and courage if we place our confidence in Jesus Christ.

For me personally a couple of things happened this past year which hurt me a lot. To me and to people I really care about. You know watching someone you really care about not be in a good space really takes a toll on you. So through it all I'd always pray asking God for healing. I've been on what I'd call a "journey". Where I've been trying to get into a good place spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I also tried getting to a good place physically but fitness and I haven't been good friends since I finished highschool😂it's a love hate thing. I want to be fit but being fit doesn't want to be me. However, I'll get back on that horse soon.

As I was saying. I really tried so hard to just be in a good space but I found myself getting frustrated because it felt like it was taking forever. Only recently at this VWOW conference did I realise that it felt that way because I was relying on myself to get back to being in a good place. On our way to the conference the car broke down. So we slept over at my grandfather's house. So the thing with confidence is that you'll be alright until you're reminded of that thing which is out of your control. And it's disappointing because you really know that there's nothing you can do about it because your abilities are inadequate for that particular situation. So every now and again those things that hurt me creep back into my mind. Mainly when I'm free/unoccupied. So I went to the bathroom and yeah your girl started crying. When I had calmed down I just said a short prayer asking God for complete healing from the situations I had been facing because that's all I really wanted.

My problem used to be that I'd pray telling God that I'm letting go and that He can take over. But I'd still find myself doing my own thing because I'd get impatient, which would just lead to me hurting myself even more cause I'd lie to myself. To be honest guys, no one lies to you more than the way you lie to yourself. You'll be walking around thinking "I gots this" when you really don't babes. When you're with your friends you'll be laughing about the issue like "yeah guys it's whatever, it's not my loss". But you know that later on in the evening when it's just you, God and the darkness (because electricity has been a problem in Zimbabwe lately) it's not that funny anymore😂. It'll be quite sad actually because that's when most of us overthink situations to the point where it drives us crazy. Asking questions that no one can answer.

So basically I said that short prayer in the bathroom and this time I was serious. And I can say that this conference really changed my life for the better. The last sermon at the conference was on "Crossing over" and I feel it really put me on the right track to being whole again. His love makes you whole. I'm completely aware of God's power and what He can do to fix me. It just takes allowing Jesus to fix you. Try Him out, he'll change your life. Without trying to implement your own little remedies. Just trust His way completely. Even with the little things. Infact it actually starts with the little things because when you see yourself trusting Him with the little things it'll be easier to let go of the big things and trust Him with those too.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best. Stop always trying to restore things that aren't for you to restore. There's nothing more frustrating than watching a person with such great potential taking all the wrong steps. The sad truth is we are only human and if we place our trust in ourselves we will keep falling short. But with God ALL things are possible. Even if they take time, because delayed doesn't mean denied. His timing is perfect.

 In a book by Kim Dolan Leto called "F.I.T" which is an acronym for "Faith Inspired Transformation" . She focuses on four main points:

1. How you start is not how you have to finish.
2. Exchange the lies of the world for the truth of God. He has work to do.
3. Strength comes from the inside out.
4. Success is found in the daily small win.

Believing in yourself is great. But there's nothing more fulfilling than knowing that belief is built upon the promises of God. I believe that these 4 points are crucial for you to know, understand and practice if you want your confidence to be connected to God.

Here are a few scriptures which I hope will help in placing your confidence in God again:

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

1 John 5:14
And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him.

Jeremiah 17:7
But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
    and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.

Proverbs 3:26
for the Lord is your security.
    He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

Philippians 4:13
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Thank you guys for taking some time out to read this post❤ I hope it helped and that we will all fully step into our GODFIDENCE💫.
'Til next time❤